Conversation with a Stranger: What We Should Know About People We Don't Know

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For many centuries, people rarely encountered complete strangers. As a rule, they met their neighbors who believed in the same god, built similar houses and cities, fought with the same weapons and according to similar rules. In today's world, we constantly encounter people whose origins, views on life and beliefs differ from ours. Here is a summary of the book "Conversation with a Stranger" created by Smart Reading.

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Malcolm Gladwell is a journalist, sociologist and writer, author of the usa whatsapp list world bestsellers "The Tipping Point", "Blink", "Outliers" . This book by Gladwell is devoted to the analysis and clarification of the reasons for our stereotypes of perception, their criticism and an attempt to correct them:

Conversation with a Stranger: What We Should Know About People We Don't Know 1


Look into the eyes and see the soul
In 1938, British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain signed a treaty with Hitler in Munich, under which the German-speaking part of Czechoslovakia was transferred to Germany. This sad event, which went down in history as the "Munich Betrayal", took place after many hours of personal meetings between Hitler and Chamberlain, as a result of which Chamberlain came to the conclusion that "Hitler can be trusted."

Chamberlain acted as we all do when we try to get to know and understand strangers. We believe that a personal meeting—a chance to look into someone’s eyes, observe their behavior and mannerisms—provides a unique opportunity to draw informed conclusions about a person’s character and intentions. But all the additional information Chamberlain gathered during his personal interactions with Hitler did not help him discern the dictator’s true intentions.



I believe it or not
We are convinced that we are much better at understanding people than others. We talk when we should listen. We lack the patience to understand other people's complaints about injustice. For some reason, we are sure that we see through another person, relying on shaky and unreliable signs. Of course, we ourselves are complex, subtle and mysterious creatures. But strangers - everything is simple with them...

Not at all simple, says Malcolm Gladwell. Among the huge number of researchers on the topic of deception and lies, Tom Levin stands out, having managed to build a universal theory of deception. According to this theory, we are programmed to trust people. We believe not because we do not doubt the truthfulness of a person, but because we do not have enough grounds for mistrust.



History of financial pyramid
In November 2003, the Renaissance Technologies hedge fund acquired a stake in a fund managed by New York investor Bernard Madoff. The Renaissance manager doubted the integrity of Madoff's fund's operations: it was unclear what these outstanding results were based on. But he could not admit that Madoff was a fraud and a liar. The US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) also had its doubts. SEC employees even met and talked with Madoff, who explained that he had a "gut feeling" which securities to buy and which to sell. Many had doubts. And yet they were not enough to understand: Madoff was the biggest fraudster in the history of financial markets. Tom Levine's theory that in the absence of sufficient evidence to the contrary, we are inclined to believe in the truthfulness of a person received its next confirmation.

However, the universal theory of deception teaches that if we lost the ability to trust, it would be disastrous. Humans did not evolve the ability to recognize deception because it makes no evolutionary sense to spend time carefully checking the words and actions of strangers. On the contrary, it is more profitable for people to trust in the truthfulness of others. According to Levin, in exchange for the risk of being deceived sometimes, we gain efficiency and coordination in society.